Category Archives: men’s health

MO-vember


Its that time of year again.

Time to forgo the beard i love so much and take a stand for something more important than my facial hair.

In a year when I think that maculinity and ‘being a man’ has taken some hits I worry that men will do what we generally do and not talk about what bothers us.

Suicide is the biggest killer of men my age in the UK. That is a shocking fact!

We need to break the stigma that we can feel around mens health issues and shine a light on the reality that men suffer too and that its ok to not be ok.

It is good to talk – its not just a handy hashtag.

In a time when it generally seems to be ok to bash men for being masculine in a way its not ok to bash any other group, men need to stand up and show the difference between masculinity and masogyny or chauvinism.

Men cry

Men get sick

Men have problems

Men need help

Men need to realise that they are men and ask for help

This year I became a father for the first time, a truly wonderful experience. An experience that got me thinking about my own mortality, I want to gros old to walk Harper down the aisle (in the unlikely event that she ever finds someone I deem good enough). I made a decision to be more proactive about my health.

Scariest thing? Phoning up to make a prostate exam appointment.

Second scariest thing? Going for it.

The truth however is, it was a blood test, not scary at all.

I dont have a huge circle of friends……not sure if there are even enough to form a rudimentary circle, but I know if I need them, they can be reached and will listen and, I hope, they know the same.

Again, in my experience, starting the conversation is the hard bit, but friends wont judge you and will listen and support.

Men are facing a crisis right now – WE ARE DYING TOO YOUNG

If you feel you can, help me raise a little cash through the MOvember foundation by clicking the link to my page below. More importantly help us break the stigma surrounding mens health – start the conversation

https://mobro.co/13599598?mc=1

#itsgoodtotalk

#movember

#menshealth

#itsoktonotbeok

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Man Up


So, it appears everywhere I turn lately, men are getting a hard time, or, more specifically, masculinity is getting a hard time.

Masculinity is a set of attributes, behaviours and roles, generally associated with boys and men. It is both socially defined and biologically created.

The attributes we generally associate with masculinity generally fall into 2 groups

  1. The stuff we wrongly think is exclusive to men
  2. The stuff that really is exclusive to men (but which doesn’t do us any good)

In this first category we put things like courage, stoicism and a competence in traditionally manly tasks. The only problem here is that, having seen my wife give birth, this category is nonsense. In the second we put what we can probably best refer to as ‘emotional reserve’ but is really ‘emotional incompetence.

I believe that, inherent in the way a great many of us have been raised, a key feature of masculinity is an inability to answer the simple question – “what’s the matter”

As a man it feels somehow less masculine to be able to say, “actually yeah there is something I need to talk about”

Masculinity has somehow been turned into a negative thing.

Who says that men can’t cry?

Who says men can’t open up and talk about their feelings?

Who says that doing either of these things make anyone less masculine?

Surely being able to openly discuss your feelings takes a great deal of courage!

lets talk

I’m not suggesting that men should cry at the drop of a hat, that would annoy everyone, but being able to talk honestly about things that are affecting you is something that everyone should feel they can do.

Everyone has problems at some point in their life – its normal

Everyone goes through things that they find tough – its normal

In a world where the largest killer of men under 40 is suicide it is high time we reclaimed the word masculinity, embraced our differences, opened up about our problems and talk to each other.

I have been through some pretty dark times and, in my experience, your friends don’t judge you the way you fear they will. The hardest thing to do is take that 1st step and start the conversation but once you do you realise that you are not alone, that people do care.

#worldmentalhealthday

#itsoktonotbeok

#itsgoodtotalk

There are people out there who care and can help, if you want someone to talk to check out CALM

World-Mental-Health-Day-10th-October

Wake up Men #mhaw2017


So here is a statistic for you……

The Biggest killer of men under 45 in this country is suicide!!!

Of the 6000 or more lives lost in Britain to suicide EVERY YEAR, 75% are men!

A little late but still

With all the terrible diseases we could  catch, all the accidents we could have, all the potential ways we could kill each other, men still kill themselve more freuently than any thing else.

QUESTION – what goes on in our heads, as men, that leads us to take this, most ultimate, step with such staggering regularity?

ANSWER – No one knows

WHY? Because we are stubborn and flatley refuse to talk about it

What else could it be? There is no evidence to suggest that men get hit harder than women by depression.

Rather than talk aboit it we bury our heads in the sand (or bottle) and our depression remains hidden away behind a mask and  multitude of ‘im fine’s

Its not the way we have been raised, we learn that feelings and talking about them is not for ‘real men’. Men get on with it and are ‘fine’ 

The problem with this is that we do have feelings and at times of stress they can get away from us and when they do……we are totally unequiped to deal with it.

I undetstand the stress that, as men, we go through. Maybe more now than at any point in my life. I have been through talking therapy (and I hate it), I have been on pills and wasted countless days staring at the floor, I have experienced the black clouds that decend and engolf you.

Im self employed and that bring stress and now I worry will I be able to provide for Harper, do I earn enough to give her the education she needs etc. Its ‘normal’ parent pressure i guess but it doesnt take much to see how it can snowball out of control.

The reality is that what Harper needs is her dad, and for him not to become another statistic. 

The  older I get the more I realise that its not just a nice phrase it is ‘good to talk’ 

As men we need to to do it more about all our health issues both seen and unseen


#MHAW2017

#gogreen